Easy Fixes Airlines Could Make

I'll add a couple - and I'm fortunate to say I travel a lot, and have very few issues, but:

- Take down the names of those in line and let them sit comfortably until they're called to the podium/check in counter (in order!)
- Triage the line and if I can't get out until tomorrow morning, don't make me stand in line for 2 hours to find out
- You have my email and cell number already - try texting or emailing me an update so I can get out of line
- Have more than one employee available to assist the several hundred whose flights were just cancelled
- Here's a seldom used one: APOLOGIZE up front over the PA. Don't announce the cancellation as though you had nothing to do with it and it's just part of traveling! It's harder for people to scream at the nice, apologetic employee!!

I must confess I am new enough to this to not be totally familiar with the etiquette of offering a comment. I offer these thoughts with the assumption that sometimes it's okay to throw stones at easy targets.

The airlines used to offer their passengers a sense of being elite, or exclusive via their frequent flier programs; bronze, gold, platinum. In fact, my wife made an unnecessary flight on the 363rd day of last year just to maintain her status.

After careful study, most airlines have combined all of their elite programs into a new one called, "Who let you on my plane?" They appear to have reached the low point of customer service equilibrium, or absolute zero. On the Celsius scale, that's -273.15 degrees, a theoretical point where molecules cease to move. Absolute zero on the customer care scale is that point where all customers no longer care.

We have come to believe each airline is just as bad as the next one--a feat not easily achieved. As each approaches absolute zero, there is nothing they can do to make their score any lower; charge for an extra bag, charge for pillows and a blanket, do away with meals and peanuts, charge for soft drinks, charge to use the bathroom.

It's never occurred to them that by charging a hundred different prices for the same seat, they aren't competing on cost because nobody in the world knows the price of a seat. If any one of them told us a fair price for a seat, and built in the cost of what they are now trying to charge a-la-carte, they would have long lines at the ticket counter.

I do have one other idea that I believe would be helpful, albeit very un-PC. Board and deplane the aircraft by how well passengers score on their ability to store and retrieve their luggage in the overhead bins. Those who are most proficient get on and of the plane first, and aren't held up by those who unable to stow their bag and take a seat. And for those Mensas of the airways who always seem to need to swim upstream from the normal flow of traffic in the aisles, well, don't get me started.

Paul