Things I Don’t Want to Hear Anymore in 2010

I was thinking of doing a predictions post, really, but then Paul Greenberg came along and wrote up all my predictions and added some better ones.  So, instead of filling up the streams with more of the same, I thought of a twist to predictions: I won’t tell you what I think it will happen,  I am going to tell you what I hope won’t hear anymore in 2010.

Ready? There are five things I don’t want to hear anymore in 2010 (and the reasons why):

Private Cloud – Do you realize that the mere definition of a cloud forbids the existence of a private cloud? A cloud is there to interconnect two or more public applications or networks.  The concept of building a private cloud is a way for IT managers to say they are ahead of the curve, knowledgeable about what is going on, and to make their infrastructure sound hip and advanced.  In reality, anytime they say they have a private cloud they look like a fully dressed clown at a funeral: I am sure the intention is there, but the actions don’t reflect that.  Say you have an open architecture, a services-oriented infrastructure, or a dynamic API-driven platform if you want.  Just don’t call it a private cloud.

Death of Anything – According to my earlier readings today only, 2010 is the year we kill Sales, Marketing, Customer Service, CRM, ERP, Email, Enterprise 2.0, SCRM, databases, relational databases, and  I am certain I am missing some other ailing technology patients.  This is not to mention how vendor #1 will be “dead” before the year end, while the other vendor they back is pretty much alive and kicking.  Why do we need to kill things? Why does everything in this world need to replaced every single time something new comes about?  The shiny new object approach of new always being better and killing old one has never proven successful.  Let’s spend the time we dedicate to “killing” stuff to building better models of what we have.  No one is dying in 2010 — at least not in Enterprise Applications.

CRM Failure Rate – Yes, we know.  CRM used to fail at rates up to 70%. Shocking.  Alas, that was 8-10 years ago.  I want to think we already figured what we were doing wrong, how to fix it, and how to turn that failure rate into a same-number-different-metric success rate.  If we did not, as Paul Greenberg likes to point out, we would not have grown it into a 13 Billion Dollars industry.  So, let’s say the following from now on: CRM has failure rates that are comparable to any other large enterprise-wide application implementation — but we have great knowledge how to make it better and to make it successful.  Yesteryear failure rates don’t play no more.  I am sure that learning to drive resulted in high-failure rates among teenagers, but most of them managed to figure out and are doing fine. Right?

Social Anything – No, not saying that Social is dead (that would contradict myself – right?). I am saying that making special considerations for Social is so — well, 2009.  Social is no longer a new, shiny object — it is part of the fabric of the organization (like DNA better? fine, the DNA of the organization).  You had some couple of years to get surprised and amazed by the social evolution; now is time to take a deep breath, and start building the Social Business.  Darn, this one is going to be harder to do — how about if use either Aligned Enterprise, or we just call it Business?  After all, it is just another evolution of business like the coming of the PC, the Internet, and the industrial revolution before.  Did we change the name of business each time there was an innovation?

You Have to Start in Customer Service – As much as I was one of the earlier proponents of this mantra (been saying that CRM starts in Customer Service since the mid-1990s), it is time to put it to rest.  This was all fine and dandy (wow, my use of metaphors is really going south) back when our business processes and functions were differentiated — not so much as we move to use end-to-end processes.  So, no – you don’t have to start with Customer Service. You have to start where your needs are.  Don’t know where they are?  Lucky for you you became an Aligned Enterprise, and you can use your newfangled, shiny feedback mechanisms to find out.  Then, you will see how you don’t have to start in Customer Service — unless you completely lack imagination and cannot figure out how this whole thing works.  Then, sure start in Customer Service; at least you will be doing something.

Any terms you would like to see move on in 2010?  Pet Peeves?  Let me know in the comments and we can work towards making them go away…