Dell and the worst CEM I ever experienced!

This is true! And still going on…

I all started was back in winter 2009; I was offered and accepted a free huh… « noise canceling headphone set» by Dell!

Why me? How come? What is the deal? What is hidden?…Since I work in CRM, promotions and direct marketing now, pompously renamed; relationships marketing, my professional curiosity added to my personal one and pushed me to respond.

Who would say «no» to a free electronic gadget, especially if I do not quite know what the thing is all about?

So, I reply on the web as indicated (it was not easy) and I receive by land mail a …«plug»! No kidding, a « ¤¢¦²¬¤¢&?%! loose plug!!! At least that is what I would call it, and later (at the next mailing.)
I realised it was purposely meant to be «useless unless…» in order for me to call a sales rep for the missing part (along with a twist arm job to sell me, I guess) which would make it «functional».

The trouble is, I never understood what I was expected to do how, where when, name it.

I put away the «plug» and forgot it, wondering on what planet the Dell people live.

End of episode no 1…………………………………………………….

Not long ago, I got a land mailing in my mailbox, it looked familiar, a «déjà vu» impression…, hey! This is my plug box again! The same format as the one before except different words mmmmm…..let’s see.

In it there was what I thought was a USB key, but it was part of a USB key, it was missing the SD card, but, nuance, it is called a card reader by the Dell people. A nice way to call « a nothing», by name.

Still again, I do not remember how they found me. Between the 2 mailings what happened? I attend webinars and I have seen the name «Virtual machine manager», and «windows server Hyper V» (all this is on the box envelope as I recall) but I do not remember having given my postal address to them.

I read the mailing which is the box with as little text as possible on it and finally I spot a place where it says: "Receive a free 16 GB SD card" (I thought I had it in my hands.)

1 simply visit www.contactdell.com
2 Enter your pin number (see right corner of addressed label)
3 schedule an appointment today. Meet with your Dell representative and receive a FREE 16 GB SD Card to complement the enclosed USB card reader.
Step 2 is based on the fact that you must do it while you still have the shipping label handy otherwise, pardon me but you are scre…If you do it next day or someone opens your mail for you, or if your paper basket has been emptied…«good bye SD Card!» The label is placed on the transparent cello wrapping paper!!!

On the box yet, there is a space to place the label and then cello wrap around protecting the label but, why it that way?

To make a long story short, I followed the steps entered my PIN… nothing, I did it 2 more times hoping something would happen, something like:
A next step of some kind, a pop up message box telling me «thank you Max, a sales rep will contact you within…or, sorry this promo is for US bus. residents only (not as funny)». Since nothing was happening I realised that I’d better do something and found a «contact us» box that I clicked on to check what was going on.

The box took me back to my Outlook window and message. I wrote
explaining what was happening.

My diagnostic:

So far, this is a cross border problem with a web site in US for Canadian leads.

I have been offered the plug complement and I said I would like the full kit as the plug is lost by then. Impossible so far.

I asked for a substitute: 2 USB cards fully operative. Impossible, they cannot decide, Dell rep will decide if yes or no.Huh, nice!They care!

I have been talking to an outsourced front office trying very hard to help but having no means to do so. Their hands are tied.

It seems Dell uses them as punching balls and human shields. They are placed between them (Dell) and unhappy customers to get the s…..
Sad but true.

End of episode no 2 ………………………………………………………………………

Status: So far, no SD card, no calls from Dell , no sign of life from Dell

This is my CEM with Dell so far. What do you think of this, as an Experience in a B2B competitive market like computers?

As a MAJOR side effect beyond shredding potential leads and wasting zillions of $, it turns Dell into an avid and gigantic polluter. Imagine the waste of paper, and gadgets that go to file 13 because of poor targeting and labyrinth minded logistics!

Thank your for your time.

Now, the floor is yours, let me know what you think please, as this is meant to be constructive!

If you work for Dell or their agencies, let’s talk openly, it will be a well worth exercise. Where did things go «buzurk»?