A fine morning to whom it may concern from Radio CBM 98.6, all Josh Ritter all the time and the pride of East Roadkill, Nevada.

Tired of getting nowhere on the corporate ladder? Tired of snotty know-it-alls smirking as they pass your cubicle? Want to get that view from the corner office? Cornerstone Consulting's got you in their mind's eye: Cornerstone E-Learning, my friend, an online portal with business classes for the career advancement of individuals—that would be you. Take professional online classes at your convenience, they've got refresher classes and course series.

Dave Boos, President of Cornerstone Consulting, said "We recognize that most don't have the time to travel and attend quality training courses at universities or business campuses." He added that Cornerstone is offering the professional business classes at a discounted rate of $99.00 per, and that the classes will be accessible to the registered user for an entire year.

Cornerstone resells Comgine's e-commerce apps and sells Sage Software and SAP Business One software. Cornerstoners report that so far Backstabbing For Beginners is "oversubscribed," and Sucking Up Without Appearing To Do So is "going fast, too."

Newsweek Editor Evan Thomas claims that he wasn't actually calling President Barack Obama "God" when he said on Hardball recently that Obama was "standing above the country, above—above the world, he's sort of God." In a recent Newsweek feature Thomas now says he meant to say that Obama was "just one of four members of the Trinity." He dismissed charges that he and other members of the media are hopelessly in love with Obama, saying "Look, he's not the actual whole Trinity all by himself, okay? I'm not going overboard here."

Contact Centers of America will use and resell call- and service-management tech from Vertical Solutions. The companies say 100 users will be operating on VSI's technology within 90 days, more than 1,000 within the next 12 months and that revenue for the sale will be more than $1 million.

The VSI technology has core layers of functionality upon which individual custom applications can be built along side the contact center. By combining VSI's new technology with cloud computing capabilities, end users can "access, manage, and store data in their own "personal cloud," without the fear of compromising confidential information, and can connect to this cloud from anywhere in the world.

CCA was founded in May 2008 to provide outsourced contact centers to mid-market firms, stating as its goal "providing an alternative to offshore contact center outsourcing" with on-shore options. CCA says it does this by using an "innovative" staffing model that employs "veterans as well as students enrolled in local colleges," and "matching students with customers that are in markets that mirror their field of study; for example, nursing, EMT, and pharmaceutical majors for customers in the health field, and English majors for those standing in unemployment lines or waiting tables."

In sports, Cleveland Browns wide receiver Donte Stallworth received a 24-day jail sentence, some community service and probation for killing Mario Reyes while driving drunk in Miami. Critics who charge that Stallworth received preferential treatment in a state where the normal sentence for killing someone while driving drunk is 15 years in prison were told he would serve his jail time at Guantanamo Bay "in a cell full of Pittsburgh Steeler fans."

Genesys, an Alcatel-Lucent company, has launched UC Connect to "foster integration and interoperability between the Genesys Customer Interaction Management software platform and UC products from many of the major providers in the industry."

It has a nifty Interaction Preview and Auction mechanism sending interaction previews to all resources within a skill pool whose UC presence shows "Available." When a worker clicks "Accept" the interaction's sent to them, meaning workers don't need manual updates to their UC presence each time they're unavailable.

With UC Connect, Genesys integrates the CIM platform directly with UC platforms including Alcatel-Lucent's MyInstant Communicator, IBM Sametime, Microsoft Office Communications Server 2007, Siemens Openscape, Chrysler, Fiat, the CIA, various Swiss banks and missile systems around the world, the Federal Reserve and the Vatican.

"We're breaking down the traditional barriers," Genesys officials say.

The "rapidly increasing use of presence, instant messaging and softphones," all of which can reside in UC applications, makes it possible for a much larger pool of workers to participate in customer interactions, Genesys officials explain: "Say you're on IBM Sametime in a top-secret Vatican archive, and you need to perform a couple transactions at Swiss banks, contact the CIA and then access Russian missile launch codes. We could help you with that."

That's the show for today, we're off to howl at the moon with our two new buddies, Beldaran and Ulrok.